Thursday, August 14, 2008
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From Text Message Break-up to Rekindling Romance
Remember my friend who got dumped by text message? Well, guess who's back to sitting in a tree ... K-I-S-S-I-N-G?
Yup, they're back together.
He sent her a text message yesterday (Has this dude forgotten how to speak?) telling her he wants to be back together with her, and it only took her 30 seconds to text him back saying "I agree." WTF??I wish she had spoken with me before she had texted him back. I could've sent some common sense brainwaves to her. I know she was a mess after they broke up, but I think with all of the problems she's going through... not having a "boyfriend" is something she didn't want to deal with.
He only has 2 rules:
1) No marriage talk
2) No engagement talk.
He listed them in that order...
She told me she's ok with his rules and she doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. So, just because she's not ready for marriage, she's just settling for anything? Does that make any sense to anyone?
I was a Psychology major and I still can't figure out why she is putting herself through this.
He says he can now see her 3 days a week. From a weekend "booty call relationship" to a 3 day "long weekend hookup."
Is there anything I can tell her to help her see the error of her ways?
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Comments (6)
I've known people like that - both men and women who will do anything and anything to be in *that* relationship. The only thing we can do as friends is to advise. Sometimes, drastic measures of 'stop being their friend because...' may work. Other times, they may listen.
I really think it would have been better if she had kept apart and not gotten back together so soon. It may have given her time to think things through.
Sorry I don't have anything useful.
Tell her that no matter what happens, you are her friend and you are there for her.
Also tell her that he's a jerk who treats her like crap, and she is not doing herself a favor by getting back with him. (Say it in a nicer way, of course...but say it as directly as possible without offending her too much.)
Ultimately, though, she's not going to take your advice and dump the jerk herself until she gets to the point where she realizes that she deserves better treatment than she's getting. And that's a realization she's probably going to have to come to on her own. Like they always say, people don't change until they want to, no matter what you tell them. It took me years to get to that point. Hopefully she learns her lesson faster than I did.
I have a passion for Psychology too. (was majoring til statistics came... etc.) some people have to learn the error of their ways on their own. They're hard headed like that at times. But one fair thing is, to be her friend it is good and equally fair to be honest. If she wants you to lie to her and be supportive, but you don't think this is good for her, then she'll accept and take the consequences as her own. It's up to you though as to whether you want to hear her when she calls you asking "why isn't he....?" If I were you I wouldn't listen to it. I'm too blunt and I've had friends with that same problem. (my roommate fell for her "friend" and he left her cold") Sometimes they have to learn things through their own pain. Unfortunately. But good luck though in any decision that you make.
@LaBellaMorena - I think what she does need in her life is great friends who will stand by her no matter what. That's true...she probably won't take my adivce till SHE realizes that she deserves better treatment. I'm just scared that she might not realize it any time soon, and wind up swimming in a sea of emotional pain for who knows how long. I think if she wasn't dealing with other problems in her life she would have a clearer head.
@Happybunni21 - I was majoring in Biology till Psychology came along...haha.. Now I'm back in school for Journalism.
Yeah, honesty is very important. I can't beat around the bush with her. The last thing I want is for her to continue living in this fantasy world and thinking this guy is her prince. She's very open about her problems and I've tried to be supportive, but sometimes it's hard to just hear another "You'll never guess what happened to me today..." I just wish I could tap her with a magic "Your life is automatically back on track" wand.
@melsie - WoooHoooooo for Journalism!!!! (Broadcasting/Mass Communications degree owner here :))