Thursday, October 09, 2008

• The Mennonite - Wrapping Up

  Feeling uninspired again today so I'm going to go back to a story I started a while back and wrap it up. If you need a recap:
  
  The Mennonite - Part 1, 1.5, 2
  
  So despite all of our romantic sweet little things, things between us started going downhill. He started talking more and more about other girls he thought were cute, which I thought perhaps he was doing to remind me that he didn't want a relationship. But in retrospect, I think he enjoyed making me jealous. He was kind of sadistic that way. I think it boosted his ego that I got jealous. That is how I feel about our whole interaction, really. He never really liked me, he just liked that I liked him. It was an ego boost for him (and he was very insecure).
  
  Then he started flaking out on me - only occasionally returning me calls, that kind of thing. But he didn't cut off contact completely. No. He contacted me just enough to keep me stringing along. Finally everything exploded because I was mad at him for treating me that way (like I was someone to call only when he had nothing else better to do) and I got mad when I ended up being the third wheel with him and this other girl at a movie (that wasn't even a jealousy thing really though, I just felt really left out). And then he got mad at me for being mad and I told him I was done. I told him he clearly didn't value our friendship because I was the one putting in all the effort and I wasn't going to put in effort anymore. If he wanted to stay friends, I would stay friends with him but he had to make the effort.
  
  Needless to say, he didn't make the effort. He called me once a couple of months later and we went out to dinner. It was actually not that awkward and rather pleasant. I thought maybe that enough time had passed that he would be willing to make the effort this time around, but no. I didn't hear from him again for another few months when I got a text message asking if I was going to some party he had apparently been invited to. I think he was asking so that he could avoid running into me there.
  
  This summer, I started running into him again - we have a lot in common: activities, places, friends - particularly during the summer when there are lots of free concerts and the Bryant Park movies. Actually the first time I ran into him was at a bar as I was walking to the bathroom. It was awkward (but less awkward than it could've been because I was tipsy so I was in that "I love everybody" stage). But actually I was with my soulmate and that is probably part of what instigated our initial hookup (since I was tipsy, I told him about The Mennonite and running into him and that I was going to probably flirt with him even more than usual since The Mennonite was there. I was like "if you have a problem with that, just let me know and I'll stop." He joked that I was using him, to which I protested and then I just came out and confessed straight up that I liked him. In a way I guess I was using The Mennonite as an excuse to get to my soulmate instead of the other way around - albeit a little bit drunkenly so I can't say I was totally conscious of my motivations at the time). The Mennonite and I managed to avoid each other at most of the other places we ran into each other (or we would greet each other awkwardly and that would be all). Toward the end of the summer, we even managed to have a polite, rather lengthy conversation/interaction. Once again, I thought maybe we would be friends again (we do have an awful lot in common and it would be nice to at the very least not dread the awkwardness of running into him) but once again, he did not make the effort. I heard from him once via facebook wall message since.
  
  Some of you are probably thinking "well why don't you just make the effort to reignite the friendship." But like I said before, I'm not going to get stuck back in a situation where I'm making all the effort. I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't really want to be friends with me, and if he's not willing to make the effort, he must not really want to be friends with me.
  
  On the plus side, he did seem to get a little jealous about the soulmate situation. He brought it up the next time I saw him and he sounded... bitter. Not to say that he has any leftover feelings for me. It was more like he didn't know how to react to me paying attention to a guy that wasn't him.
  

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