I feel like I’ve been writing a lot about politeness lately… I guess it’s because I’m in New York where people don’t tend to bother being polite (which is sad, by the way). In the past couple months I have had way too many guys invite themselves over to my apartment. Well, really even just one is too many. But it’s happened now four or five times. Most of the time, they are doing so in a “let’s hook up” sense too. I find this completely appalling for many reasons.
First of all, I grew up being taught that you don’t impose yourself on other people. Inviting yourself over imposes on others, so you don’t do it. Second of all, how incredibly presumptuous of you to assume that not only am I going to hook up with you, but we’re going to do it in my apartment. Third, if you want to hook up with me so badly, why don’t you invite me over to your place? If I’m not welcome at your place, why should you be welcome at mine?
Most of the guys who’ve invited themselves over lately seem to: a) live with their parents or b) don’t want me to come to their place because it’s a pigsty or something. To me, honestly, if you are not in a position to bring someone back to your apartment, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to hook up with people (hint hint – move out of your parents’ house guys who have graduated from college! It’s not attractive!). Or at the very least find a smoother way to get the other person to invite you over. If they haven’t invited you over, you should never invite yourself. It comes off as a little desperate and if they haven’t invited you, they probably don’t want you coming over. Plus I think the one who is trying to instigate the hooking up should be the one to invite the other person over.
Bottom line is though, no matter what the context, it’s rude to invite yourself over and particularly appalling when you’re also shamelessly trying to get in my pants (which I don’t appreciate either guys, thanks).
Comments (1)
UGH! I couldn't agree with you more!