Sunday, September 21, 2008

• The Mennonite - part 2

  For part 1, click here. And I've realized that I'm not very good at summarizing when it comes to stories like this, so this is actually going to be kind of a long story, so I may come back to it with later parts in the future... *sigh* sorry...
  
  So I really liked the Mennonite after hanging out a couple of times, but I found it really hard to tell if he liked me. He would flirt a ton and do sweet things like walk me home or bring me food when we met up but then he would say things about other girls that he thought were cute or things like that (which, in my mind, is a signal that he's not interested because he's saying "I'm interested in these other girls who aren't you"). And then one night we went out drinking together and we had a lovely drunken conversation on the subway. I accused him (jokingly) of being cocky and he was trying to convince me that he's actually really insecure. He said something about how when he met me, he and his friend thought I was cute and his friend gets all the girls so he was really surprised that he was able to get my info instead of his friend (I actually have no recollection of his friend and don't think I met him). I was like "you think I'm cute?" and that led to a conversation in which it was established that we do like each other. BUT "neither of us" wanted a relationship (read: he didn't want a relationship and I thought I didn't want a relationship because I was seeing a few other guys at the time but really I did want a relationship). In retrospect, this whole conversation about his insecurities should've caused some warning sirens to go off in my head from the very beginning but I was a little too giddily focused on the "he likes me" part.
  
  Unfortunately, later in the night (as we got drunker) our conversation took a strange turn. He (in his more honest, drunken state) told me that a month or so before he met me, he met the girl that he thought was "the one." And they were great together but after about two weeks she broke it off with him with no real explanation. But even though they weren't together any more, he was still sure she was "the one." This was really hard to hear. You never want to hear that no matter what, you're not going to measure up to some girl he dated for all of two weeks. That you'll always be second choice. What do you say to that? After a long while of not knowing what to say to that and him going "you hate me now, don't you?" I told him that just meant that he was going to have to make the first move if he wanted to pursue things with me because I didn't want to push him into something he wasn't ready for. But that got me to talking about my ex ("The Nice Guy") and how I wasn't really over him even two years later. And we're sitting on my front stoop at this point, and somehow we started talking about death and mortality (because I had a near death experience a couple of months before that) and I was crying... It was bad. VERY VERY BAD. I'm not usually an emotional drunk, but yeah. BAD.
  
  But then, the smooth sonofabitch was all "can we cuddle?" And I was like "yeah, I'd like that." So I snuggle up to him (still sitting on my front steps). And he was like "I didn't mean here." So of course I invite him up to my apartment. And we cuddle in my bed. He being a guy and it being summer, he thought it would be totally cool if he just slept in his boxers... The tease! And so we're in bed, talking with our faces very close together and without thinking (remember, I'm drunk) I kiss him. He goes "I thought you weren't going to make the first move..." so of course I'm like "you're right. My bad." And I turn away.
  
  But then (again, the smooth motherfucker) he goes "well, since you already broke the rule..." and he starts kissing me! But it actually stayed pretty innocent. We kissed a bit (really sweet, romantic little kisses), cuddled and fell asleep. It remains one of my favorite nights in my memory to this day, despite the fact it all went downhill from there...
  
  

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