I have always been a big advocate that the little things are what counts in a relationship. Big grand gestures can often be intimidating and it's the more frequent little things that really show me that someone cares.
Let me break it down for you:
If a guy buys me a Ferrari, he gets 10 points. It's awesome and was really great of him. But I'll probably feel guilty because I cannot reciprocate that and buy him something of equal value.
If a guy calls me just to say hi and that he was thinking of me, he gets 1 point. Now, 1 point is less than 10 points. But just think, it only takes 10 little gestures (phone calls, emails, hugs, kisses on the forehead) to equal one Ferrari. Easy, right? So how come more guys don't get it?!
On the bright side, I got a very sweet, thoughtful email from my soulmate the other day completely out of the blue as I still had not had time to respond to his first email. I daresay it was even worth 2 points
Or well, not that I'm "keeping score." I'm just trying to explain it in a more black and white, definitive manner for you guys who don't seem to understand it. There is no actual score. But my point is that a bunch of little gestures add up much faster than a grand gesture or two, and they are the things that make our day more frequently. I am not high maintenance. I don't ask for much - no grand gestures, just kindness and consideration. But I just love those little things that make me smile and think "wow, he really cares about me."
Comments (9)
I definitely think this is true of most women.
In my experience, the women who prefer grand gestures, just want to prove to everyone else how great the relationship is, instead of actually having a good relationship.
I always feel uncomfortable with grand gestures...like he's trying too hard or showing off or something. The small things are the real indicators of how they feel. I mean, a guy can buy you things like Ferraris and do big grand gestures, but if they ignore you in between the gestures, then they don't mean much, you know?
-Katie
thats so true. i always wonder like a small gift like a card from a drugstore... WHO BUYS THOSE AND GIVES THEM!?! It makes me mad to know that my guy will get me a Marc Ecko purse, (nice and a bit expensive in my opinion) over a card and a flower any day. Even though I hate flowers cause they die fast and I don't find it to be the best analogy BUT thats why you add the card. Guys don't understand that theory of "shower me with gifts" don't take a bucket of water and dump it on me.
I think for some guys, splurging and big grand gestures are what they believe is more important to a relationship. Rather than the tiny little things that always seem to matter to us women. It's not that they don't want to show us how much they care. They do. But some might not understand us in that aspect and might not be capable of showing us all those tiny little gestures. Once again, this isn't to say that all guys are like that. Just some.
It is the little things that matter most, to me. A quick phone call, a randomly sweet statement or thought. To me, that's better than a ridiculously expensive care; it's more of a gift of self, I suppose.
Great post.
Haha. You have the answer already from your other people who've commented. I am a fan of "just because..."
Why did you get me that card?
Just because...
Some people place more value on sentimental gifts than material gifts. (Why? Just because...) I would prefer that (sentimental gift) from my partner too.
Some guys get that and some of them get it some of the time. I forget now and again but when it comes to mind, I do try to do it as soon as I can. (It might be an email. It might be a text. [Oh no, sometimes you hate texts!] It might be that smile or hug or that little [cutesy] thing only me and my partner do.
But let's not take away completely from the big gifts. The well placed (thought out and relevant) big gift now and again among the little gifts make for a nice balance. (Cause sometimes guys like to feel they can get something "nice" for their lady. But as I mention, it should not be a willy nilly gift just to give the big gift.)
Well, that's my thought/opinion about this.
@uwrote - I didn't mean to make big gifts sound bad. THey're good (they are 10 points after all). But little things are almost as good and they're so much easier to do, was my point.
And I don't hate texting! Jeez! I have such a bad rep now! I only hate guys who text on initial contact. Initial contact should always be a phone call in my opinion because you hardly know the person.
@hopelessromantic -
My apologies. I sit corrected -- you do not hate texting in general just for initial contact. Which still makes me... what was that word you used? 
(Just joking around with you.)
Hope you're well!
I totally agree with you. But men tend to think about the "big" picture and they aren't as expressive as women are about their feelings and thoughts.