Miss Zebra"A friend tells you how much better you are without him. A best friend calls him up at 1 a.m. making chicken noises."
Okay, so we've talked about how long it takes to get over a breakup and the differences between guys and girls getting over it, etc... But what about how the friends treat their friends' exex?
Out of loyalty, we tend to echo how our friends are reacting to the breakup and we want to be there for them. But doesn't there come a point when it's time to get over it? You weren't the one who was in the relationship and broke it off. You didn't suffer hurt feelings yourself. You're empathizing with your friend. But isn't there a time (e.g. 6 months later) when it's time to stop the childish, middle school play? It's time to stop calling the ex at 1 a.m. making chicken noises; it's time to stop calling them a jerk; it's time to stop "warning" other people about them and trying to sabotage their other relationships.
When is that point where it's time as a friend to "get over it"?
How do you react to and treat your friends' exes?
Comments (19)
WOW. This is SOOOOOOOO HIGH SCHOOL-ish! Who does that anymore?! LOL When my ex & I broke up, my friends just dragged me out of the house to hang out. NOBODY prank called him, NOBODY sabotaged his car or his personal belongings. That's just straight up immature.
Wow..This is like "Do you have cooties?" Man, I still want all my friends to treat him with respect. You shouldn't do all those non-sense things period..unless, he was that fucked up =P And you know what? Bring me out on the fun! :)
couldnt agree more with eyesochinky@xanga!
I never stop being friends with my friend's exes. If anything....I dont talk to them (for awhile) but thats it. When I see them, I will talk to them still. I just wont chit chat, hang out, buddy buddy like before. Well, not AS much
What the?? People warning others about the ex is That common for me to read on here?
I'll treat them as decently as I have been treating them. Things happen, but that doesn't make you a bad person.
Having said that, if my friend's ex totally wronged my friend (i.e. stole money from his bank account, slept with half his family, etc) I may have to take that in consideration haha
lol As childish as that sounds, I have to admit that it makes me laugh. And yeah, at a certain point you would have to stop. But you're like willing to do anything for your friend to cheer up.
I'm friends with some of my friends exes still. It all depends on how they broke up I guess. Otherwise, I just wouldn't talk to them ever unless it's necessary.
It depends on the type of break up
I'm not the type for the childish antics so there is none of that, but if the ex is a real head case I'll let everybody know
@eyesochinky@xanga - @pasaway4eva@xanga - Yes I know it is. I wrote it cause I've been through similar of people getting mad at me and "warning" others about me because of a breakup. It really is stupid but adults still do this.
@breakingthemold - Man, I would've taken that jerk to court and sue them for defamation of character! Because that's some bullshit. Its aight, in the end just rise up from above it and be the bigger person. We can't please the world and make everyone happy or make everyone like us. They can go F*CK themselves :o)~
It's nice to be supportive, but you don't want to hate on your friend's ex too much. Because if they end up getting back together, and you end up having to give speeches at their weddings, it'll be totally awkward.
@eyesochinky@xanga - agreee
But personally I wanted to do all that....
My guyfriends "had my back"
they* were all** ready to beat up my ex and "give him a lesson"
So it was all up to me*
In the end I never pulled through...
Cause I didnt want to see him get beat up I could never do that
Lol but its the immature childish thought that makes us crack up
Imaging him with a black eye - wonder what his mommy will say and whats his explanation is
Or my girlfriends***
Willing to call up my ex's MOM - and pretend to be a pregnant girl trying to get my Ex in trouble
First off, the bubbles and whoever says they are friends with the ex is a horrible friend.
And you should learn ENGLISH.
Anyways, I think prank calling might be a bit out of hand. What you can do is, take them out, let them cry or laugh at themselves. If they are the ones who are hurt trash talk the ex. Or if they broke it off still trash talk the ex. I would tell my friend I would get together with the other gals, put a bunch of nails or various other items i'm feeling at the time in a pillow case ( sometimes soaked in urine, or armpit smell) and beat him with it. Stalk his house and beat him,, poo bags a flaming and all that fun stuff.
Then we say its done. and when she brings it up act accordingly. Your better off, you've found better, u can do better. all that stuff.
do / say whatever fits the mood without taking it too far.
we never did any of that stuff. Although one girl did write a nasty email to the girl and ex bf in question, some very questionable actions were done. Broke the friend code, the ex code and i am sure many other social codes there are out there.
that's ridiculous. it's hard to imagine. all my friends were his friends. but friends closer with me were definitely not as immature as that. they stayed friends with him. i think that a relationship should stay between the two people it involves. if they break up, there shouldn't be any negative feelings towards the ex. YOU'RE not breaking up with them. your friend is.
when me and my ex broke up i couldn't ask for better friends, i really didn't feel like going out but it was summer and i couldn't stay in we went shopping to the movies everything and i even caught myself looking at other guys i felt bad just but it was good to know that i wasnt going to be hung up on him for the rest of the summer
x
I was nice to my best friends Ex. Up to the point she started to toy with him and was only nice to me to get something from him. At that point, it's time to call a bitch a bitch and get on with things.
To me if my friend has a break up and that guy happens to be a friend of mine it depends on the reason behind the break-up.
If it was the type of break-up that things weren't really working out anymore or basically a normal break-up then i would still be friend's with the guy.
On the other hand, if you treated my friend like a asshole or cheated on her or anything similiar to that.I wouldn't look at you the same and probably wouldn't be able to stand you.
But i'm not the type of friend to be immature and do foolish things.
just be mature and get over it
& i would tell my friend not to worry about and not it stress it..i would take her out make her have a good time so she doesntt think about the break-up
to me revenge can be pointless.i believe in karma.
Depends on how they broke up.
If it was a fairly friendly breakup, I wouldn't expect our interactions to change much.
If, however, my friend's ex was a total ass to her, I reserve the right to hold a grudge for at least as long as she does. It's called loyalty.
Will I call him at 1am making chicken noises? Probably not. But you can bet I won't be doing him any favors.
Also, I personally wouldn't want to be friends with someone who habitually cheated on or abused their significant other. Besides being cruel to the SO, it says something very nasty about a person's character.
I don't think it really matters. What's awkward is when you're really good friends with both individuals. Two of my best friends also happened to be dating one another.......for six years. I figured, they'd always be together. They were together when I met them.
Then she moved away for school and they couldn't handle the distance. She wanted to try something new, and he didn't. It's hard, because I'm good friends with both, and I almost feel like I needed a period of coping as well. I'm still good friends with both of them. Occassionally I have to sit through little rants about the other individual, but for the most part they've both been civil about it. And I'm still friends with both of them, no choosing sides.
My most recent ( and by recent I mean a few months back) break up though, his friends that were also my friends have sided with him. We're not in high school anymore, but somedays, it feels like we are.